Shavin', Waxin', Primpin' And Shootin' Quail! (This Is Funny, I Don't Care Who Ya Are!) (Album Version)
๐ต 3065 characters
โฑ๏ธ 3:25 duration
๐ ID: 32296378
๐ Lyrics
I was at the Victoria's Secret one time and, and, uh, that's right
Oh, I met this little midget girl at the Victoria's Little Secret
And got her some edible under britches. Boy, I went through them like
Popcorn shrimp. I'll tell you what, boy, good, just like they used
To make. But, uh, they had these little teeny britches... get '
Er done. They had these, uh, I don't miss a one of them. They had
These little britches in there for fellers, and they're
So tiny. I mean, if a feller squeeze into them, look like
His tonsils are hanging out of his undershorts. It's
Pathetic. My girlfriend goes, "Try on them little shorty
Shorts over there." I'm like, " That ain't gonna happen."
So I go in the dressing room and try them on in there, and oh
Lord, they split my boys in two places. I had one boy come out the
Left side, another boy come out the right side. I even had a nut
I didn't know about come out of them shorts. I thought I had a
Tumor down there or something. She like, "Come on out, let's take a
Peek at your shorty shorts." I'm like, " I'm staying right in here."
So I go walking out there, and everything hanging out. It is
Embarrassing. The girl working there was like, "What is that?"
My grandpa was like, "Look like his tonsils are hanging out of
His shorts." "Grandpa, get back in the truck and quit following
Me around. You everywhere, here, the Catholic church, good Lord."
But the women got it real bad. Your britches are getting smaller
And smaller, and you need to be groomed up now. You gonna wear
Your britches. And that's sexy, women waxing the private areas
That, boy, people doing that everywhere now and making a lot of
. That's what I'm gonna do when I stop doing this. Dadgum, I'm
Gonna wax the women. That's what I'm gonna do. Hey, I ain't kidding
You. You think I... Next time you in Florida, down by Sanford
Come off I-40, gonna be a big sign down there, "Bushwhackers,"
Right down there in Sanford down there
I'm telling you the damn truth
But it is sexy, I'll tell you what. It's better than it was back in
The '70s and '80s. A girl come at you naked, look like a dadgum ZZ
Top concert headed at you or something. I had a girl take her
Britches off one time, a bunch of quail flew out of her dadgum
Undershorts. I ain't making that up, that's a true
Story. I didn't need a rubber, I needed a permit
That's what I needed on that girl. It was ridiculous
I could have got lucky and my limit all in one weekend
But women want fellers to do that. My girlfriend wanted me to do that
And I draw the line right there. "Shave your privates." "Uh-uh, I'll
Leave you." So I'm in there shaving my private parts in there. Yeah
That was real sexy. Come out of the bathroom, little red bumps and
Toilet paper squares all over my testicles. Good Lord. Standing there
Naked, look like a grub worm with a turtleneck on. That's what I
Looked like. If I was a girl, I'd never shave, I'll tell you that
Much. I'd be at the beach, look like I was
Smuggling Chewbacca in my undershorts. That's what
I'd look like. I ain't doing that garbage. Damn!
Oh, I met this little midget girl at the Victoria's Little Secret
And got her some edible under britches. Boy, I went through them like
Popcorn shrimp. I'll tell you what, boy, good, just like they used
To make. But, uh, they had these little teeny britches... get '
Er done. They had these, uh, I don't miss a one of them. They had
These little britches in there for fellers, and they're
So tiny. I mean, if a feller squeeze into them, look like
His tonsils are hanging out of his undershorts. It's
Pathetic. My girlfriend goes, "Try on them little shorty
Shorts over there." I'm like, " That ain't gonna happen."
So I go in the dressing room and try them on in there, and oh
Lord, they split my boys in two places. I had one boy come out the
Left side, another boy come out the right side. I even had a nut
I didn't know about come out of them shorts. I thought I had a
Tumor down there or something. She like, "Come on out, let's take a
Peek at your shorty shorts." I'm like, " I'm staying right in here."
So I go walking out there, and everything hanging out. It is
Embarrassing. The girl working there was like, "What is that?"
My grandpa was like, "Look like his tonsils are hanging out of
His shorts." "Grandpa, get back in the truck and quit following
Me around. You everywhere, here, the Catholic church, good Lord."
But the women got it real bad. Your britches are getting smaller
And smaller, and you need to be groomed up now. You gonna wear
Your britches. And that's sexy, women waxing the private areas
That, boy, people doing that everywhere now and making a lot of
. That's what I'm gonna do when I stop doing this. Dadgum, I'm
Gonna wax the women. That's what I'm gonna do. Hey, I ain't kidding
You. You think I... Next time you in Florida, down by Sanford
Come off I-40, gonna be a big sign down there, "Bushwhackers,"
Right down there in Sanford down there
I'm telling you the damn truth
But it is sexy, I'll tell you what. It's better than it was back in
The '70s and '80s. A girl come at you naked, look like a dadgum ZZ
Top concert headed at you or something. I had a girl take her
Britches off one time, a bunch of quail flew out of her dadgum
Undershorts. I ain't making that up, that's a true
Story. I didn't need a rubber, I needed a permit
That's what I needed on that girl. It was ridiculous
I could have got lucky and my limit all in one weekend
But women want fellers to do that. My girlfriend wanted me to do that
And I draw the line right there. "Shave your privates." "Uh-uh, I'll
Leave you." So I'm in there shaving my private parts in there. Yeah
That was real sexy. Come out of the bathroom, little red bumps and
Toilet paper squares all over my testicles. Good Lord. Standing there
Naked, look like a grub worm with a turtleneck on. That's what I
Looked like. If I was a girl, I'd never shave, I'll tell you that
Much. I'd be at the beach, look like I was
Smuggling Chewbacca in my undershorts. That's what
I'd look like. I ain't doing that garbage. Damn!
โฑ๏ธ Synced Lyrics
[00:03.29] I was at the Victoria's Secret one time and, and, uh, that's right
[00:06.98] Oh, I met this little midget girl at the Victoria's Little Secret
[00:10.70] And got her some edible under britches. Boy, I went through them like
[00:14.49] Popcorn shrimp. I'll tell you what, boy, good, just like they used
[00:18.16] To make. But, uh, they had these little teeny britches... get '
[00:21.84] Er done. They had these, uh, I don't miss a one of them. They had
[00:25.59] These little britches in there for fellers, and they're
[00:29.29] So tiny. I mean, if a feller squeeze into them, look like
[00:32.93] His tonsils are hanging out of his undershorts. It's
[00:36.60] Pathetic. My girlfriend goes, "Try on them little shorty
[00:40.36] Shorts over there." I'm like, " That ain't gonna happen."
[00:45.39] So I go in the dressing room and try them on in there, and oh
[00:49.97] Lord, they split my boys in two places. I had one boy come out the
[00:54.59] Left side, another boy come out the right side. I even had a nut
[00:59.14] I didn't know about come out of them shorts. I thought I had a
[01:03.80] Tumor down there or something. She like, "Come on out, let's take a
[01:08.41] Peek at your shorty shorts." I'm like, " I'm staying right in here."
[01:13.09] So I go walking out there, and everything hanging out. It is
[01:17.01] Embarrassing. The girl working there was like, "What is that?"
[01:21.02] My grandpa was like, "Look like his tonsils are hanging out of
[01:25.00] His shorts." "Grandpa, get back in the truck and quit following
[01:29.03] Me around. You everywhere, here, the Catholic church, good Lord."
[01:35.05] But the women got it real bad. Your britches are getting smaller
[01:38.00] And smaller, and you need to be groomed up now. You gonna wear
[01:41.02] Your britches. And that's sexy, women waxing the private areas
[01:44.12] That, boy, people doing that everywhere now and making a lot of
[01:47.15] . That's what I'm gonna do when I stop doing this. Dadgum, I'm
[01:50.22] Gonna wax the women. That's what I'm gonna do. Hey, I ain't kidding
[01:53.26] You. You think I... Next time you in Florida, down by Sanford
[01:56.20] Come off I-40, gonna be a big sign down there, "Bushwhackers,"
[01:59.39] Right down there in Sanford down there
[02:02.35] I'm telling you the damn truth
[02:07.28] But it is sexy, I'll tell you what. It's better than it was back in
[02:10.99] The '70s and '80s. A girl come at you naked, look like a dadgum ZZ
[02:14.65] Top concert headed at you or something. I had a girl take her
[02:18.34] Britches off one time, a bunch of quail flew out of her dadgum
[02:22.04] Undershorts. I ain't making that up, that's a true
[02:25.74] Story. I didn't need a rubber, I needed a permit
[02:29.44] That's what I needed on that girl. It was ridiculous
[02:33.18] I could have got lucky and my limit all in one weekend
[02:39.34] But women want fellers to do that. My girlfriend wanted me to do that
[02:43.81] And I draw the line right there. "Shave your privates." "Uh-uh, I'll
[02:48.47] Leave you." So I'm in there shaving my private parts in there. Yeah
[02:52.92] That was real sexy. Come out of the bathroom, little red bumps and
[02:57.52] Toilet paper squares all over my testicles. Good Lord. Standing there
[03:02.14] Naked, look like a grub worm with a turtleneck on. That's what I
[03:06.66] Looked like. If I was a girl, I'd never shave, I'll tell you that
[03:11.27] Much. I'd be at the beach, look like I was
[03:15.79] Smuggling Chewbacca in my undershorts. That's what
[03:20.38] I'd look like. I ain't doing that garbage. Damn!
[03:24.82]
[00:06.98] Oh, I met this little midget girl at the Victoria's Little Secret
[00:10.70] And got her some edible under britches. Boy, I went through them like
[00:14.49] Popcorn shrimp. I'll tell you what, boy, good, just like they used
[00:18.16] To make. But, uh, they had these little teeny britches... get '
[00:21.84] Er done. They had these, uh, I don't miss a one of them. They had
[00:25.59] These little britches in there for fellers, and they're
[00:29.29] So tiny. I mean, if a feller squeeze into them, look like
[00:32.93] His tonsils are hanging out of his undershorts. It's
[00:36.60] Pathetic. My girlfriend goes, "Try on them little shorty
[00:40.36] Shorts over there." I'm like, " That ain't gonna happen."
[00:45.39] So I go in the dressing room and try them on in there, and oh
[00:49.97] Lord, they split my boys in two places. I had one boy come out the
[00:54.59] Left side, another boy come out the right side. I even had a nut
[00:59.14] I didn't know about come out of them shorts. I thought I had a
[01:03.80] Tumor down there or something. She like, "Come on out, let's take a
[01:08.41] Peek at your shorty shorts." I'm like, " I'm staying right in here."
[01:13.09] So I go walking out there, and everything hanging out. It is
[01:17.01] Embarrassing. The girl working there was like, "What is that?"
[01:21.02] My grandpa was like, "Look like his tonsils are hanging out of
[01:25.00] His shorts." "Grandpa, get back in the truck and quit following
[01:29.03] Me around. You everywhere, here, the Catholic church, good Lord."
[01:35.05] But the women got it real bad. Your britches are getting smaller
[01:38.00] And smaller, and you need to be groomed up now. You gonna wear
[01:41.02] Your britches. And that's sexy, women waxing the private areas
[01:44.12] That, boy, people doing that everywhere now and making a lot of
[01:47.15] . That's what I'm gonna do when I stop doing this. Dadgum, I'm
[01:50.22] Gonna wax the women. That's what I'm gonna do. Hey, I ain't kidding
[01:53.26] You. You think I... Next time you in Florida, down by Sanford
[01:56.20] Come off I-40, gonna be a big sign down there, "Bushwhackers,"
[01:59.39] Right down there in Sanford down there
[02:02.35] I'm telling you the damn truth
[02:07.28] But it is sexy, I'll tell you what. It's better than it was back in
[02:10.99] The '70s and '80s. A girl come at you naked, look like a dadgum ZZ
[02:14.65] Top concert headed at you or something. I had a girl take her
[02:18.34] Britches off one time, a bunch of quail flew out of her dadgum
[02:22.04] Undershorts. I ain't making that up, that's a true
[02:25.74] Story. I didn't need a rubber, I needed a permit
[02:29.44] That's what I needed on that girl. It was ridiculous
[02:33.18] I could have got lucky and my limit all in one weekend
[02:39.34] But women want fellers to do that. My girlfriend wanted me to do that
[02:43.81] And I draw the line right there. "Shave your privates." "Uh-uh, I'll
[02:48.47] Leave you." So I'm in there shaving my private parts in there. Yeah
[02:52.92] That was real sexy. Come out of the bathroom, little red bumps and
[02:57.52] Toilet paper squares all over my testicles. Good Lord. Standing there
[03:02.14] Naked, look like a grub worm with a turtleneck on. That's what I
[03:06.66] Looked like. If I was a girl, I'd never shave, I'll tell you that
[03:11.27] Much. I'd be at the beach, look like I was
[03:15.79] Smuggling Chewbacca in my undershorts. That's what
[03:20.38] I'd look like. I ain't doing that garbage. Damn!
[03:24.82]