Whatever Happened To Jesus (And Maybellene)?

Tell me whatever happened to Jesus
Yeah, where did that good ol' boy go?
Did you leave him behind back in Texas
Or did he just hide in the devil's disguise somewhere in your soul?

And tell me whatever happened to Mary
Ah, whatever happened to her sweet dreams?
Did she leave them behind with her childhood
Or just trade 'em in on a tube of Maybelline?

Oh, Maybelline, why can't you be true?
Yeah, Maybelline, why can't you be true?
You done started back doin' them things you used to do
You done started back doin' them things you used to do

Well, I was motivatin' over the hill
I seen Maybelline in a Coupe DeVille
A Cadillac rollin' up an open road
Yeah, nothin' outrun my V8 Ford
A Cadillac rollin' 'bout ninety-five
Goin' bumper to bumper, roll side to side

Maybelline, why can't you be true?
Yeah, Maybelline, why can't you be true?
You done started back doin' them things you used to do

Well, the Cadillac pulled up ahead of the Ford
That Ford got hot and wouldn't do no more
And then it got cloudy, it started to rain
I tooted my horn for the passin' lane
The rain water pooled up under my hood
I knew I had stood my motor good

Maybelline, why can't you be true?
Ah, Maybelline, why can't you be true?
You done started back doin' them things you used to do, yeah

Well, the heat went down, the motor cooled down
And that's when I heard that highway sound
Cadillac lookin' like a ton of lead
Hundred and ten a half mile ahead
Cadillac lookin' like it's sittin' still
Caught Maybelline up on top of the hill

Maybelline, why can't you be true?
Ah, Maybelline, why can't you be true?
You done started back doin' them things you used to do, yeah