Easy Not to Do Things

Thank you for coming to this show by the way,
I really do appreciate you coming
To a thing because you didn't have to,
And it's really easy not to go to things.
It is so much easier not to do things than to do them,
That you would do anything is totally remarkable.
Percentage-wise,
It is 100% easier not to do things than to do them.
And so much fun not to do them,
Especially when you are supposed to do them.
In terms of, like, instant relief, cancelling plans is like heroin.
It is an amazing feeling.
Such instant joy.

Kids don't like that.
Kids always wanna do stuff.
Kids get angry, they go, "Aw, we didn't do anything all day."
You ever ask an adult what they did over the weekend
And they say they didn't do anything, their faces light up.
Be like, "What'd you do this weekend?"
"I, um, I did nothing... I did nothing at all.
Did we do anything? No, I didn't do anything."

People especially don't wanna do their
Jobs. I've found that out recently too.
I have a friend named Megan.
She's an elementary school teacher, and I was out with her one night,
And she was drinking like a monster.
And I said to her, "Don't you have to do a shift at school tomorrow?"
And she went, "Ah, I'll just show a video."
And I was like, "That's why teachers show videos?"
She said this, she goes, "Yeah, I don't wanna work!"
And I was like, "You know the kids don't wanna work either"
And she was like, "Good!"