Our Twisted Fate

We are merely pretzels
That is all we are
This woman's obsession with us
Is frankly quite bizarre
We used to simply be a starchy snack that people ate
But now we are a symbol
Such is our twisted fate

We've been smothered in the mustard of her quest for happiness
There's a lot of pressure on us
This we must confess
We didn't ask to be in charge of someone's mental state
Just let us be some happy carbs
Spare us this twisted fate

We've been assaulted by her yearning
To make her life a cogent tale
Sure it's nice to be kneaded
But now the whole thing's getting stale
Oh, can't some soft and chewy pretzels
Finally get relief

We are hurtin' from the burden of being someone's life motif
She could switch to pizza bagels
If it's not too late
It's the yeast that she could do
To save us from this twisted fate