September - Distance Holding World Together

September
Just wanting it to end
Remember
The way you watched me
When I said
I could never be what you expected
I'd rather be dead
September
Losing friends

You used to say
I had to figure out my own truth
I could never see it through
But when I got home
From the hospital
I knew exactly what to do

Forever
Best friends
Just like we always said
Frightened girls
Just trying to live life
Outside their heads
But then your patience
Wore too thin
And I could not pretend
By November
We never spoke again.

When we met I'd already given up
Shitty punk and black label
As if it was enough
Caught in the uncertainty of blood
Confusing gentleness at last
With love

Together
We'd make it out alive, we said
Beacons shining bright
Across the internet
Plans were tentatively made
But there were rifts we couldn't mend
Ever wondering if we could last
As friends

Moving twice a year
And never looking back
Wondering if this is all I'll ever have
Counting change for food
And thinking day by day
Tried to cross the border to see you
But got turned away

I think about the way
We caused each other so much pain
And my obsession with always
Needing an escape
But even when things got so bad
I thought I'd run away
There was a comfort
Knowing things
Would never be the same.