He Was There (From "Galavant Season 2")

ADORABLE ORPHAN 1: I was starving in the poorhouse, where they fed us twice a year,
And they tossed me out the day I asked for more.
KING RICHARD: Awww!
ADORABLE ORPHAN 1: Then your dad brought me to your house, and he gave me bread and beer,
Also everything you left here in your drawer.
GALAVANT: Wait... what?
ORPHANS: He was there! He was there!
ADORABLE ORPHAN 1: Gave me all your underwear!
ORPHANS: With his sweet, loving care, he was there!
GALAVANT: Are you kidding me?
ADORABLE ORPHAN 2: I was carried off by slavers when my parents died of pox
And they sold me to be rendered into glue.
ADORABLE ORPHAN 2: Then your dad did me two favors—
First he cleaned their freakin' clocks,
Then he gave me all the gear he gave to you.
GALAVANT: That's my favorite hat!
ORPHANS: He was there! He was there!
ADORABLE ORPHAN 3: Random backflip in the air!
ADORABLE ORPHAN 4: So much warmth!
ADORABLE ORPHAN 5: Love to spare!
ADORABLE ORPHAN 6: Such a gem!
ADORABLE ORPHAN 7: Such a—
GALAVANT: Stop!
I was practically abandoned by that smug and selfish jerk.
It's like nothing that I did was quite enough.
KING RICHARD: Rough.
GALAVANT: Plus, his ego's out of hand and all he cares about is work.
And I can't believe he gave you all my stuff!
ADORABLE ORPHAN 8: What!
ADORABLE ORPHAN 9: No!
ORPHANS: He was there!
GALAVANT: Never there!
ORPHANS: He was—
GALAVANT: Never ever there!
ADORABLE ORPHANS: Sweet and kind!
GALAVANT: Au contraire!
ADORABLE ORPHANS: He's a saint!
GALAVANT: Not a prayer!
Nasty and coldhearted, such a pig, don't get me started
He's a schmuck! He's a schmo!
He's the worst! I should know!
He's my dad! He's a cad!
He's right behind me, isn't he?