Becky Apples

Jeffica
Becky Apples
I bet Becky's got perfect hair
Jeffica
Jeffica's got stupid, stupid hooves
I'm never gonna eat another apple ever again
It really bunches my wool to think how badly she hurt you
Baby girl, tell me your story
I left my rider so that I could raise an army
Then C-Doug popped up and he said something alarming
He told me that my best friend's ridden
Another horse so pretty
And her name is Becky Apples
Because, ugh, of course it is
Becky Apples, Becky Apples
What a gorgeous, fancy, schmuck
Becky, how you like them apples?
'Cause I think your apples suck
Becky Apples, Becky Apples
Guess what? I knew Rider first
And while technically I don't know Becky
I know she's the worst
Oh, she is so the worst, Horse (Right?)
It's unbelievable (Stupid Becky)
But can I tell you about someone who's kinda a total Becky in my life?
Okay, I, I mean, I'm kinda not done being mad about Becky Apples
Well, I was flirtin', flirtin' with a slick merdude
He was the finest carny that I've ever pursued
He played me like a ukulele (He did)
I don't want no drama, baby (Too late)
But I flipped when I found out his girlfriend was a llama lady
That Jeffica, that Jeffica
Got stupid, pretty legs
And I bet that Sunfish Merguy would let her adopt his eggs
Jeffica, Jeffica, Jeffica, Jeffica
Even her wool is perkier
Maybe Jeffica's flirty boyfriend is the one who's the actual jerk here
Ugh, Jeffica
Making me feel bad about projecting my own insecurities
And displacing blame on her when she really did nothing wrong
Ugh, she's the worst
Oh right, you're sad
I feel your pain, girl
I'm your vindicator
And we don't know
Jeffica, Becky
We just know we hate her
This isn't okay
And this isn't fine
Let it out, baby girl
It's just I thought Rider would always be mine