The Legend of Flat Dallas

Well, what kind of hero does your story need?
A mystery man who's both cowboy and steed?
Got a monotone voice and a heart full of malice
So his enemies named that moletaur Flat Dallas
The legend, the legend of Flat Dallas
(Get along, doggies, please!)

Does he got what it takes? Why, yes, of course
'Cause he's kinda both the rider and what would be his horse
The legend, the legend of Flat, Flat, Flat Dallas

Well, he doesn't emote and he don't have no eyes
But he's the champion of the little guy
What a legend you are Flat, Flat, Flat, Flat, Flat, Flat Dallas
(Texas)

I can shoot tiny versions of myself
Adoptin' Flat, Flat Dallas

Toilet-raisin', punch-swiggin'
Quick at diggin'
Works in a courtroom for a livin'
Moister than the rain but super dry when he's deliverin' messages
Please bring a message of hope Flat, Flat Dallas
Yeah
(Woo-hoo! Woo-ha!)
See you at high noon