The Cobbler (Bonus Track)

Oh, me name is Dick Darby, I'm a cobbler
I served my time at ould camp
Some call me an old agitator
But now I'm resolved to repent

With me ing-twing of an ing-thing of an i-doe
With me ing-twing of an ing-thing of an i-day
With me roo-boo-boo roo-boo-boo randy
And me lab stone keeps beating away

Now, my father was hung for sheep stealing
My mother was burned for a witch
My sister's a dandy house-keeper
And I'm a mechanical switch

It's forty long years I have traveled
All by the contents of me pack
Me hammers, me awls and me pinchers
I carry them all on me back

Oh, my wife she is humpy, she's lumpy
Me wife she's the devil, she's cracked
And no matter what I may do with her
Her tongue, it goes clickety-clack

It was early one fine summer's morning
A little before it was day
I dipped her three times in the river
And carelessly bade her "Good day"