Opium

Firewater
I wield the Ichabod Mortimer
Midnight marauder
Corner store loiterer
Dark corridor voyager
Baccalaureate in fangoria
Poet laureate
Prehistorian
Stegosaurian
Hornyish
I mean, triceratopsian
Topsy turvy
By duds stained dried blood burgundy
I make cuts like surgery
Certainly
It's all first person
Personally
I make Hercules run like Mercury
I make mercury rise

Mirror, mirror
Who's the fairest foodshopper in the Fine Fare?
Audiological warfare for mademoiselles and mon freres
I can't fail
I don't feel no fear
Yeah
When I hock spit toxic hot spittle
They'll hold you like a hostage
In the hospital
Trot Nixon, sock syllables
Inhospitable
And all attempts to feud are futile
Don't get it confused
It's my short fuse and your funeral
And that's irrefutable

I'm not a dentist I just brush a lot
I eat muff a lot
Not!
Though I have in the past and might in the future
For setting roofs on fire, I'm despised by roofers
I do the kama sutra
A super kinda tune, coming through, my bazooka
Mad dudes like "duke nuclear"
I'm Duke Nukem
So it's the start of your ending
And that's based on the pretext that y'all all pretending
So keep talking about your bad temper
It's mad tempting
Rec execs, be attentive
'Cause I'm finding it hard to comprehend why honorable men only get honorable mention
We now present you with the present tense, reinvented
It's funky and it's heaven sent
Which makes it heaven scented