If I Had $1000000 (Yellow Tape version)

If I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you a house
(I would buy you a house)
And if I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
I'd buy you furniture for your house
(Maybe a nice chesterfield or an ottoman)
And if I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you a K-Car
(A nice Reliant automobile)
And if I had a million dollars
I'd buy your love

If I had a million dollars
(I'd build a tree fort in our yard)
If I had a million dollars
(You could help, it wouldn't be that hard)
If I had a million dollars
(Maybe we could put a little tiny fridge in there somewhere)

[You know, we could just go up there and hang out.Yep, like open the fridge and stuff and there'd all be foods laid out for us like little pre-wrapped sausages and things.Mmm.They have pre-wrapped sausages, but they don't have pre-wrapped bacon.Well, can you blame them? Yeah!]

If I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you a fur coat
(But not a real fur coat, that's cruel)
And if I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you an exotic pet
(Yep, like a llama or an emu)
And if I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you John Merrick's remains
(Ooh, all them crazy elephant bones)
And if I had a million dollars
I'd buy your love

If I had a million dollars
We wouldn't have to walk to the store
If I had a million dollars
We could take a limousine 'cause it costs more
If I had a million dollars
We wouldn't have to eat Kraft dinner

[But we would eat Kraft dinner.Of course we would, we'd just eat more. And buy really expensive ketchups with it.That's right, all the fanciest ket--Dijon ketchup.Mmmm! Mmmm!]

If I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you a green dress
(But not a real green dress, that's cruel)
And if I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you some art
(A Picasso or a Garfunkel)
If I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you a monkey
(Haven't you always wanted a monkey?)
If I had a million dollars
I'd buy your love

If I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
If I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
If I had a million dollars
I'd be rich