sludged

I can feel it hit the nerve
I know I've got what I deserve
My dreams are full of endless loops
I'm wide awake but cannot move

I feel it seeping through my veins
Don't try to salvage what remains
The flies are swirling all around
And I can feel it shutting down

I cannot stop I cannot rest
Staying up is my best bet
To get a hint or get a clue
And maybe I'll find something new

To think about, or cry about
Or write a bit to air it out
I start to feel so good at night
But it all goes back when I close my eyes

I don't even know how I could be so sure
When now I'm all stretched out inside this blur
I cannot find your eyes, and I cannot feel a thing
I'm reading into everything but still don't know what it means

Keep thinking I'm feeding lies to myself
But sometimes the thoughts are the lies in themselves
I know that it's real and I know that it's true
But it's hard to believe when I'm so afraid to learn

I can feel it turn to sludge
My mouth is melting into mush
No words are left, my tongue is dead
I'm just so stuck inside my head

I can feel it turn to sludge
The day is done and still I rush
It's done and I know who to blame
It's done and I still feel the shame

I can feel it turn to sludge
Full of noise and hard to touch
A piercing sound hits both my ears
It's never been so crystal clear

Feeling sorry what's the point?
Hands are sticking at the joints
Another wasted night away
Just typing till it turns to day

I can feel it hit the nerve
I know I've got what I deserve
My dreams are full of endless loops
I'm wide awake but cannot move

I feel it seeping through my veins
Don't try to salvage what remains
It's not gonna move It's not gonna budge
I don't know how to kill the sludge

Death is growing can't you see
The times I've tried to count my dreams
Get me home and get some rest
I think it works I think I'll pass

I know you can feel it too
When you can't even clean your room
All this shit is piling up
And I know it will never stop

I can feel it hit the nerve
I know I've got what I deserve
My dreams are full of endless loops
I'm wide awake but cannot move

I feel it seeping through my veins
Don't try to salvage what remains
The flies are swirling all around
And I can feel it shutting down