I Wish I Were a Prostitute Again

He dressed up as a bunny and licked my little foot
He gave me lots of money to thrash his naughty butt
And sing; When he was done he dressed me up as King Tut

My life was much more funny and more entertaining then
I wish I were a prostitute again

He payed me for my urine; he payed me for my poop
Dressed like the Shroud of Turin costumed as Betty Boop
Or as Martin Van Buren or in a hula hoop

I sold him life insurance and I pocketed the pen
I wish I were a prostitute again

I got him his own collar custom made studded with jewels
I made him whoop and holler with my very special tools
I am a classic scholar because he put me through schools

He had twelve-million dollars until he gave me ten
I wish I were a prostitute again

I was too busy shopping to cavort with other men
I wish I were a prostitute again