Conversations (feat. Joe Budden)

[00:21.61] Constantly accomplishing all of these new accomplishments
[00:24.63] Sometimes I wake up
[00:25.67] And feel like I ain't really accomplished shit
[00:27.85] Honestly it's stressful
[00:28.72] Thoughts as random as this bitch that I'm next to
[00:30.82] I know this conversation probably like pot to kettle
[00:33.48] I need your opinion, I could possibly be tripping
[00:35.99] My conclusions all the same, it be like fuck it or Smith 'N
[00:38.70] I need logic, I got skeletons in my closet
[00:40.93] Won't say I'm trying to clean it up, just sort it out
[00:43.36] Sharing with you shit that I thought about
[00:45.36] Huh, can't stop dreaming 'bout
[00:46.89] Joe, how I get these demons out?
[00:48.42] Voices in my head, I need to scream it out
[00:50.58] Man I did bad things, I ain't proud and I ain't glad things
[00:54.28] They was trying to press me
[00:55.36] I gave 'em Jordan; that's mad rings
[00:57.13] Buncha shit, tell me how you think I should handle it
[00:59.13] Or manage it, fuck I wasn't ready for this camera shit
[01:02.54] And grandma's sick, god damn man, grandma's sick
[01:05.47] Fuck I'm probably rambling, shit here I go rambling
[01:08.35] Something gotta give with it
[01:10.09] You don't get rid of your demons, you learn to live with it
[01:12.88] 4/5th in the capsule
[01:14.53] Painkillers for the nights you get sick with it
[01:17.06] Blinders over your eyes, nigga shit's vivid
[01:20.00] Get livid, shit twisted, it'll happen like a bad disaster
[01:24.37] And niggas see you like a battle rapper
[01:26.58] But you your own worst enemy, so when you leave Smack you have to have the real battle after
[01:30.81] You right, but I lost 3 homies in like 4 weeks
[01:34.07] Same place I call home, nothing 'bout Newark sweet
[01:37.00] And I don't keep it on me just so I could hold heat
[01:39.75] I keep it cause the reaper laying niggas in these cold streets
[01:42.94] If I go, how my daughter gon' eat?
[01:45.25] Who gon' tell her right from wrong, how my mama gon' sleep?
[01:47.77] Sheesh, they say when you speak it, you bring it in the flesh
[01:51.17] A few my niggas left and I'm feeling like a nigga next
[01:53.84] My nigga, stop it. You got time on your side like that Glock is
[01:57.87] That paranoia got you obnoxious
[02:00.07] Let me paint an angle: you ain't lose friends you gained angels
[02:03.18] So before bed you should be saying "thank you"
[02:05.33] And oh, far as your seed just be there and stay put
[02:08.44] You got a hand in rap and one in the streets
[02:13.68] Gotta be faithful to one when them two sides meet
[02:16.36] Me and my baby mama tried to work it out again
[02:20.02] Same results, was just running her mouth again
[02:22.87] Pushed me away, I won't lie, I dipped out again
[02:25.52] Here I go trying to freshly paint an old house again
[02:28.66] Do they always leave with more than they came with?
[02:31.20] Text you like they changed, turn around and be the same bitch
[02:34.18] Man I need answers Joe, I need answers
[02:36.74] Look, get you some shit to roll, a little cancer
[02:39.86] Get you a stack of ones, a couple dancers
[02:42.76] They'll make you king for the night, or maybe chancellor
[02:45.61] She'll think you still in the hood, standing on Chancellor
[02:48.49] Baby mom's wild whenever they get to chance to
[02:51.23] Useless arguments I never been a fan of
[02:54.02] That's 18 years of dealing with the banter
[02:56.97] Restraining order, she'll violate if you don't ban her
[02:59.62] That's payback for all the bullshit she think you hand her
[03:02.73] Okay well. Tylenol bottles full of Xans
[03:05.24] Couple 100s, couple bitches now I guess I got plans
[03:08.13] Can't let her get the best of me
[03:10.79] First she say fuck it, now she paragraph texting me
[03:13.39] I'm the reason we like this, well, allegedly
[03:16.19] Thoughts all scrambled, other bitches keep egging me
[03:19.26] Bugging out, fall asleep
[03:20.56] Creeping turn to breakfast in another house
[03:22.53] Wild sex with bitches that barely give they number out
[03:25.64] Always start with a chill
[03:28.04] Before the sex, before the feelings, before shit get real
[03:30.92] I felt like I ain't need her
[03:33.27] Felt shit change and started confiding in Karisha
[03:36.18] Swear it was something I ain't mean to do
[03:39.10] Then stopped giving a fuck when I found out she cheated too
[03:41.84] Unbelievable, who coulda guessed a nigga stressing said F it?
[03:45.30] Rebounds turned into a new possession, shit is getting hectic
[03:48.57] New possession, same shot clock
[03:51.26] Funny wherever I go, them same thots watch
[03:54.17] When in VIP unscrewing, playing Ciroc top
[03:57.07] So she think I'll jump for the box, playing hopscotch
[04:00.03] But I can't give you girl advice
[04:02.70] Not when I used to use girls as a vice
[04:04.43] Shit, sex was a drug, the orgasm was a high on it's own, man
[04:08.40] Knew they was addicted, they never got with the program
[04:11.42] Or was it codependency?
[04:13.63] In reverse, did I need them to depend on me?
[04:16.34] Showing unconditional love, no contingency
[04:19.34] Though I knew it wouldn't last, I pretended to be
[04:22.11] My aura never came off as apprehensive at least
[04:25.16] So if you listening, please, don't take this offensively
[04:27.98] It wasn't meant to be, you took a ride with the devil
[04:30.86] Jekyll and Hyde, makes sense that I was hiding Jekyll
[04:33.69] They couldn't take it any longer from me
[04:35.87] So it's odd they all moved around the corner from me
[04:38.75] Maybe they hoping we'll run into each other, that'll ruin you
[04:41.98] Sorta like a car to a deer, that's what y'all are to me, my dear
[04:45.34] Do you sleep better knowing that a part of me is near?
[04:48.12] But I'm so outta love you gotta pardon if I care
[04:51.12] I swear, the distaste stems from this space
[04:54.19] I think the love is lost, they think it's misplaced
[04:56.87] I think it's like, suddenly every bitch got time
[04:59.84] When I'm back home, I be feeling like LeBron
[05:02.66] They say you made it, I'm just thinking in my mind
[05:05.15] Like I ain't made it 'til I made a safe haven for my mom
[05:08.24] I think I fucked up too many times
[05:11.81] Don't think she fully understand the whole grind
[05:14.36] Wonder if Alana know why daddy go
[05:17.01] She can't get Doc mixed up as her daddy, bro
[05:19.77] I been there, playing a role, couldn't take it
[05:22.94] They told me you gotta fake it 'til you make it
[05:25.78] Against my will I tried everything to embrace it
[05:28.21] And then I transformed into everything that I hated
[05:31.44] I always picture me spending bank in the district
[05:34.32] Then I learned you get famous before you get rich
[05:36.91] They'll think you balling, you might have to bounce on
[05:39.76] Dudes counting your money
[05:41.16] You thought that you could count on
[05:42.45] Called my phone trying to book me for a fucking battle
[05:46.11] I'm still having battles of my own
[05:48.67] Some battles I don't feel strong enough to win
[05:50.92] Even if I did I rarely win them battles with Patron
[05:54.29] So pessimistic, I need to stop it, this shit ain't easy
[05:57.23] Alana called me yelling "Daddy I see you on TV"
[06:00.32] Why I be feeling stuck and shit?
[06:03.57] Like this money ain't cutting it?
[06:05.89] Different stages, different phases
[06:08.50] Different animals, different cages
[06:11.31] Different charges, that's different cases
[06:14.12] Been the same me all along with different aces
[06:16.92] Every month, different cops kill different faces
[06:19.50] They indifferent, wish it was happening to different races
[06:22.79] Different decade, can't tell we in different ages
[06:25.46] Same gang, same result, just different places
[06:28.16] I been trying to separate my wants from my needs
[06:31.24] Mom said I'm like my pops
[06:32.81] "That apple don't fall far from that tree"
[06:35.57] I couldn't quote her
[06:36.91] If he was anything like me we would definitely be closer
[06:40.02] But she kinda got a point, man I need to roll another joint
[06:46.44] So much come with that pop shit
[06:49.34] Whoever confronted that pop shit
[06:51.31] Deffo wish we was closer, I hate it but I chuck it up
[06:54.15] I was in the streets, a lost cause, I probably fucked it up
[06:57.28] I was younger though, that was just a lesson
[06:59.63] He left him when he really needed protection
[07:01.76] Say he and him, I hate saying us
[07:03.95] Late nights I was staying up, waiting
[07:06.29] Fell asleep thinking "I hate him"
[07:08.82] Cold hearted cause I gotta be, he ain't have to lie to me
[07:12.06] Man, why this shit even still bother me?
[07:13.97] Hold up, we all been fatherless
[07:15.75] At 13 I thought mine ain't wanna be bothered with
[07:18.66] But life come at you fast
[07:20.50] Buckle up or get buckled, there'll be harder hits
[07:22.97] Learn to guard your shit, regardless of what is
[07:25.13] Far as demons, gotta live with monsters at the crib
[07:27.90] I got experience, you need a nigga holla at the kid
[07:31.07] And I'll tell you how to grow up, better than myself
[07:33.65] Just some lessons that nobody knows better than myself
[07:36.52]