Hollywood Pirate

I wanna be a Hollywood Pirate!
I wanna Ship that's just a set!
I wanna gun that fires blank rounds, and I want
It all mixed down in THX surround sound!

Stunt Double that swings from Mast to Mast,
And falls a hundred feet without a scratch,
Then the camera slowly pans to a close up of me!

Standing heroically... what?

I wanna be a Hollywood Pirate,
See my face on the big screen,
I wanna be a Hollywood Pirate,
Live my life vicariously,
I wanna be a Hollywood Pirate,
Go to work and have some fun,
I wanna be a Hollywood Pirate,
I wanna be a Hollywood Pirate,
Way oh heave ho

And I Spend weeks training for a choreographed fight,
Wearing thinning clothes and a wig just right,
Make myself look more menacing up on the screen,
Join the race Johnny Depp and Errol Flynn,
They got a place in bad and Dustin Hoffman,

Dustin Hoffman?
Yeah he played Captain hook in that peter pan movie,
Oh yeah...

I wanna be a Hollywood Pirate,
See my face on the big screen,
I wanna be a Hollywood Pirate,
Live my life vicariously,
I wanna be a Hollywood Pirate,
Go to work and have some fun,
I wanna be a Hollywood Pirate,
I wanna be a Hollywood Pirate,
Way oh heave ho

Got a bad guy to beat during the show,
How about that fat guy Russell Crowe, oh
I want the prettiest girl on screen who shall it be,
Salma Hayek will have to do for my romantic interlude,
With a chemistry mixed in will win on the screen,
At the drive in,

Whoa hooo hooo ho oh,
Wow Patch that was nice,
Yeah they could turn that into a musical or something,
It'll never work,

I wanna be a Hollywood Pirate,
See my face on the big screen,
I wanna be a Hollywood Pirate,
Live my life vicariously,
I wanna be a Hollywood Pirate,
Go to work and have some fun,
I wanna be a Hollywood Pirate,
I wanna be a Hollywood Pirate,
Way oh heave ho

Wanna join the cast in Mutiny,
Accept box-office Scrutiny,
With a parrot on my shoulder and a hook for a hand,
Sail away with Geena Davis to Cutthroat Island,

Cutthroat Island?
I love that movie I've got the blu-ray 3d version!
They didn't even make... did you make your own?
Yeah...

I wanna be a Hollywood Pirate,
See my face on the big screen,
I wanna be a Hollywood Pirate,
Live my life vicariously,
I wanna be a Hollywood Pirate,
Do what those before me did,
I wanna be a Hollywood Pirate,
Calico Jack and Captain Kidd,
I wanna be a Hollywood Pirate,
Big summer movie and an all-star cast,
I wanna be a Hollywood Pirate,
Academy awards can kiss my... Booty!