Joliet, The Maui of the Midwest

The west is underwater, Iowa just sank
The Mississippi to the left, swallowed by a giant wave
Who's to blame?

Maybe the rapture was right, maybe the fix was in
It only took a day to wash away the western sin
Now we can swim

When the Great Plains got swallowed by the sea
It put palm trees where our corn fields used to be
I'd apologize, but it's bittersweet
The world's a mess, I guess at least
We can go take a dip in the Midwest coast