Don't Start a Band

Don't start a band
Unless you like spending time in a hot van
(7 hours to get there, 14 dollars at door)
Don't start a band
You ought to invest in your future
(Your student loans won't pay themselves,
You should pick up more hours)

And every day I feel like a failure
Sit alone at home watching Sailor Moon DVD sets
And everything just fills me with envy
Always feel like my world is ending
Every moment of every day

Don't start a band,
Unless you like picking fights with your best friends
("I wish you'd start playing sober,"
"Why don't you ever shut up?")
Don't start a band
You didn't go to college for nothing
(This run of records costs more than my car,
These kids aren't buying our t-shirts)

And every night I feel like a failure
Drink alone and curse like a sailor
I shouldn't drink so much
And I think that this tour just might kill me
Drinking every night doesn't thrill me
Like it did in college