You Can Call Me Al

A man walks down the street
He says why am I soft in the middle
Why am I soft in the middle
When the rest of my life is so hard
I need a Shot at redemption
And I want a photo-opportunity
Don't want to end up a cartoon
In a cartoon graveyard
Bonedigger Bonedigger
Dogs in the moonlight
Far away from my well-lit door
Mr. Beerbelly Beerbelly
Get these mutts away from me
I don't find this stuff amusing anymore

So If you'll be my bodyguard
I can be your long lost pal
And I can call you Betty
And Betty when you call me
You can call me Al

A man walks down the street
He says why am I short of attention
Got a short little span of attention
And wo my nights are so long
Where's my wife and family
What if I die here
Who'll be my role-model
Now that my role-model is Gone
Gone
He ducked back down the alley
With some roly-poly little bat-faced girl
And all along all along
There were incidents and accidents
There were hints and allegations

So If you'll be my bodyguard
I can be your long lost pal
And I can call you Betty
And Betty when you call me
You can call me Al

A man walks down the street
It's a street in a strange world
Maybe it's the Third World
Maybe it's his first time around
He doesn't speak the language
And He holds no currency
He is a foreign man
He is surrounded by the sound
The sound
Cattle in the marketplace
Scatterlings and orphanages
He looks around, around
And He sees angels in the architecture
Spinning in infinity
He says Amen! and Hallelujah!

So if you'll be my bodyguard
I can be your long lost pal
And I can call you Betty
And Betty when you call me
You can call me Al

If you'll be my bodyguard
I can be your long lost pal
And I can call you Betty
And Betty when you call me
You can call me Al