Grains in the Hourglass

As the years go by
I see I paid for my mistakes in wasted time
Youth and potential drain like
Grains from the hourglass
I'm not getting any younger
What am I waiting for?

Transfixing fissures
Futures diverge
Clairvoyant visions
Losses incurred
Spectres erotic
Secrets divined
Sleep till despotic
But which dream was I?

Now my

Hourglass's
Grains are draining
Fate awaits and
You must claim it
All my wills are
Numb and vacant
Prime escaped
I hesitated

I've been waiting
Waiting and waiting
Waiting and waiting
Waiting and waiting
Waiting and waiting
Waiting and waiting
I've been so patient
But what am I waiting for?

What am I waiting for?

Forbidden visage
Futures don't learn
Sacred decisions
How to discern?
Defile my body politic
Tempestuous gaze
Bomb every mental monolith
My conquerors raised

Why don't you?

Acquiesce!
And quit complaining!
Be a man!
And make your payments!
Spare your praises!
Let's get wasted!
Find a lover!
Learn to hate them!

I can't take this
Fatal existence
I made this, I made this
Framework of cynicism
I need it! I need this!
I cannot defeat this!
My strength is my weakness

What am I fighting for?
What am I fighting for?
What am I fighting?