January

I cannot be all day long
So clever, so clear-headed so broken down
I've had enough of the fudging
But tomorrow again I won't face anything

I'm waiting for the dawn
Holding my breath as if I was gone
Kissing your neck as if you were here
I've no one to love only the new day to fear

Is it a new phase for me
I have not cried since January
It might be the sign
To switch and embrace the final decline

I've had such an empty life
And it's a great weight off my mind
To reach physical pain
The divine gift offered to an old man

Childhood is gone
Love never found
Life almost done
And Death welcome