Fairy Godmother Song

Your fallen tears have called to me
So here comes my sweet remedy
I know what every princess needs
For her to live life happily

With just a—
Wave of my magic wand
Your troubles will soon be gone
With a flick of the wrist and just a flash
You'll land a prince with a ton of cash
A high-priced dress made by mice, no less
Some crystal glass pumps and no more stress

Your worries will vanish
Your soul will cleanse
Confide in your very own furniture friends
We'll help you set a new fashion trend!

I'll make you fancy
I'll make you great
The kind of gal the prince would date
They'll write your name on the bathroom wall
"For happy ever after, give Fiona a call!"

A sporty carriage to ride in style
Sexy man-boy chauffeur, Kyle!
Banish your blemishes, tooth decay
Cellulite thighs will fade away
And oh, what the hey!
Have a bichon frisé!

Nip and tuck, here and there
To land that prince with the perfect hair
Lipstick, liners, shadows, blush!
To get that prince with a sexy tush
Lucky day, hunk buffet!
You and your prince take a roll in the hay!

You can spoon on the moon
With the prince, to this tune
Don't be drab, you'll be fab!
Your prince will have rock-hard abs!
Cheese soufflé!
Valentine's Day; have some chicken fricassée!

Nip and tuck, here and there
To land that prince with the perfect hair
Lipstick, liners—

Stop! Look... thank you very much, Fairy Godmother
But I really don't need all this!
Fine, be that way