Wild turkey nights

There's a donkey in my bed
A dead hooker in my shed
There's a jet ski in the pool
So much blood inside my stool
A burnt cross out in my yard
A dead fetus in a jar
Why's my date look like a dude?
Why's my mugshot on the news?
Black guy in my bed
And I'm pretty sure
He's nude
Oh yeah
My shirt says "White Pride"
But I'm pretty sure
We screwed
(Oh, Jesus Christ)
Wild Turkey Nights
Yeah I smoked a couple rocks
I jacked off with Icy Hot
Think I fingered Carrot Top
Wild Turkey Nights
Threw up in a railroad car
Then I tapped out a retard
Made my grandma take the charge
Wild Turkey Nights
Beat my wife with a crowbar
Put angel dust in my cigar
Shit my pants at the Kmart
Wild Turkey Nights
Gave road head to Tim McGraw
Think he broke my fuckin' ja-a-aw oh whoa
Wild Turkey Nights
I blacked out again
Wild Turkey Nights
I blacked out again

Pubic hair is tied in knots
How'd I get nailed to this cross?
There's a Filipina whore
And she pissed right on my floor
There's a preacher in a dress
And he's shitting on my chest
Spent 2 hours in the jail
Had to suck dick to get bail
Beat my first ex-wife
With a big lead pipe
It's true
Oh yeah
Got drunk with Mel Gibson
And we insulted some Jews
(Whoops!)
Wild Turkey Nights
I got tasered by the cops
I pooped out a Rolex watch
Kicked a nun right in the crotch
Wild Turkey Nights
Smoked some hash inside my car
Did ten lines off of the bar
Someone fingered my brown star
Wild Turkey Nights
Masturbated in the park
Killed a kid with a long dart
Had sex in a grocery cart
Wild Turkey Nights
Woke up in a push-up bra
Sodomized my blowup do-o-oll oh whoa
Wild Turkey Nights
I blacked out again
Wild Turkey Nights
I blacked out again
Wild Turkey Nights
Yeah I smoked a couple rocks
I jacked off with Icy Hot
Think I fingered Carrot Top
Wild Turkey Nights
Threw up in a railroad car
Then I tapped out a retard
Made my grandma take the charge
Wild Turkey Nights
Beat my wife with a crowbar
Put angel dust in my cigar
Shit my pants at the Kmart
Wild Turkey Nights
Gave road head to Tim McGraw
Think he broke my fuckin' ja-a-aw oh whoa
Wild Turkey Nights
I blacked out again
Wild Turkey Nights