Checking Up

Thick snow, I fall down in it slow
I retreat to its pillow
Snot gets smudged, swept on my cheek
No tissue, especially not you

You tell me that you're not checking up on me
But I am the one you think of when
You think about the things
You've done wrong before
In your life

You call me when you're out on the road
You just met someone reminds you of me
And I'll appear in your shadows
And you'll say
"I need to think about the things
I want before I
Kiss your thick light
Goodbye"

And all of our guilt
Is collectivized in ill-written iPhone notes
And I do not want you to know
You are the one I think of when
I think about the things
That I've done wrong before
You are the one I think of when
I think about the things
That I've fucked up before
In my life