The Merchandisers

Whether you are pro or anti
Or could not care less
We are here to tell you We are here to sell you chess
Not a chance of you escaping From our wiles
We've locked the doors We've blo cked the ailes
We've a franchise worth exploiting and we will
When it comes to merchandising
We could kill
When you get up-
When you get up in the morning
Till your bed time brook
You will have to live your life
With Bishop, Knight and Rook
Clean your teeth with chequered toothpaste
Wear our vests
Our Kings and Queens on bouncing breasts
You could even buy a set and-
Learn to play
We don't mind We'll sell you something anyway
We've done all our market research
And our findings show
That this game of chess will be around a month or so
Maybe it's a bit confusing for a game
But Rubik's Cubes were much the same
In the end the whole world bought one
All were gone
By which time we merchandisers had moved one
By which time we had moved on.