I Don't Care About Award Shows

I don't care about award shows.
They have nothing to do with art.
I don't need to beg for some acclaim
to desperately build my fame.
I write and sing and act to be a part...
of a community of people who value integrity
I don't care about award shows.
I don't need the shallow praise.
I don't have the inkling of a yen
I'd rather sit in my den
wearing black and reading ancient Grecian plays.
All the world's a stage
and all the men are only players.
So why would a hunk of tin
be in my prayers?
I only pray about emotions
or when to use a comma
and when I pray, I pray to Dionysus
the Greek god of drama.
That's right, I pray to Greek gods
I'm classically trained...
I don't care about award shows.
Or wearing gowns like this.
I'd rather act Chekhov than answer
a heck of a lot
of red carpet questions about
who's the most fun to kiss...
"The answer's Ryan."
I don't care about award shows.
The only award I care about
is the one for not caring about award shows
And for that I am so proud.
"That award kinda looks like an Emmy!"
Well that's just happenstance!
"Ow!"
I don't care about award shows.
Oh.
And I'd like to thank the fans!
"And I'd also like to thank Zeus, Aphrodite
Les Moonves, and the guy who wrote Notting Hill."