Oh Sweet Woods

I was in Tahoe, on the California side,
waiting in the lobby at 665 1/2 Frontage Road
when two extra-blond, short-sleeve, button-down,
white-shirt, blue-tie, mystery Mormons
came in and put this music on:
came in and took me by the arm,
and as they had me marching through the parking lot-
and as they were marching through the parking lot-
they blew into their shirt-pocket microphones
like this:
And then they drove me to an Albertson's outside of Boise
and took me into a back room.
And they said they wanted to balance my checkbook,
and they said the wanted to organize my receipts
and itemize my expenses
and that I had the key
to a safety deposit box,
with treasury bonds and the key
to another safety deposit box
where I'd stashed away
the only pewter pocket watch
that ever belonged to
Joseph Smith's Great-Great Uncle's
Brother-in-Law.
And I said You've got the wrong Eleanor Friedberger.
And then they sang at me like this: