Valve Drive Thru (ft. Ben Zimmer)
π΅ 2076 characters
β±οΈ 2:14 duration
π ID: 9102740
π Lyrics
Man... I could really go for an update
Just go to this uh... Valve Drive Thru
Hi, welcome to Valve
May I take your order?
Uh, yeah, could I get uhhhhh
Source 2?
Alright, Source 2
Alright, and uhhh could I get a
If you could, um
If you could just bring back Quickplay
Uh, just get rid of uh
Yep, Quickplay, yeah
Hold on - can you get rid of Casual Mode?
Just bring back Quickplay and get rid of Casual
Alright, Quickplay - here
Casual Mode - gone
Alright, and um
If you could just ban all the hackers
Just ban all of 'em
Just uh, banβ
Alright, great - Ban all hackers
Shut up and listen to my order
Just ban all of the hackers, and uh
Just uninstall the game from all their computers
And you know what
Also just ban all the Pyro mains too
And um, if you could add Highlander
And then, uh
Also add Fours, also
And if you could also add Ultiduo
And add B-Ball too
Ultiduo and B-Ball, alright
Anything else?
Ah, yeah
If you could also, uh, just
Add better graphics
Just make the game have better graphics
And also, make the game run better
On my 2010 Dell laptop computer, please
That would be really good
Graphics, yup
Yeah, umm
And if you could nerf the Reserve Shooter
So that when you equip the weapon
It fucking crashes your game to desktop
And then it uninstalls the game from your computer completely
Mhm, mhm, alright
Uninstalls game
Yeah, and then uhh ohβ
And if you could buff the Bison
Just buff it so that, uh
It just does everything that it did before
And then also does like 300 damage
And um, it can penetrate through walls
Big Bison buff, alright
And if you think that that's not balanced enough
You could just make it have no random crits
I think that that would be good
Will that be all?
Yeah, that's gonna be it
Alright, that'll be $14.59 at the next window, uh, thank youβ
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait
Hold on
I thought this game was free
I have to pay?
Yes, sir
That's bullshit
Nah, that's bullshit
What the fuck
Alright
I'mβyou know what?
Cancel everything on my order
I'm outta here, I'm leaving
I'm just gonna go to Blizzard
Just go to this uh... Valve Drive Thru
Hi, welcome to Valve
May I take your order?
Uh, yeah, could I get uhhhhh
Source 2?
Alright, Source 2
Alright, and uhhh could I get a
If you could, um
If you could just bring back Quickplay
Uh, just get rid of uh
Yep, Quickplay, yeah
Hold on - can you get rid of Casual Mode?
Just bring back Quickplay and get rid of Casual
Alright, Quickplay - here
Casual Mode - gone
Alright, and um
If you could just ban all the hackers
Just ban all of 'em
Just uh, banβ
Alright, great - Ban all hackers
Shut up and listen to my order
Just ban all of the hackers, and uh
Just uninstall the game from all their computers
And you know what
Also just ban all the Pyro mains too
And um, if you could add Highlander
And then, uh
Also add Fours, also
And if you could also add Ultiduo
And add B-Ball too
Ultiduo and B-Ball, alright
Anything else?
Ah, yeah
If you could also, uh, just
Add better graphics
Just make the game have better graphics
And also, make the game run better
On my 2010 Dell laptop computer, please
That would be really good
Graphics, yup
Yeah, umm
And if you could nerf the Reserve Shooter
So that when you equip the weapon
It fucking crashes your game to desktop
And then it uninstalls the game from your computer completely
Mhm, mhm, alright
Uninstalls game
Yeah, and then uhh ohβ
And if you could buff the Bison
Just buff it so that, uh
It just does everything that it did before
And then also does like 300 damage
And um, it can penetrate through walls
Big Bison buff, alright
And if you think that that's not balanced enough
You could just make it have no random crits
I think that that would be good
Will that be all?
Yeah, that's gonna be it
Alright, that'll be $14.59 at the next window, uh, thank youβ
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait
Hold on
I thought this game was free
I have to pay?
Yes, sir
That's bullshit
Nah, that's bullshit
What the fuck
Alright
I'mβyou know what?
Cancel everything on my order
I'm outta here, I'm leaving
I'm just gonna go to Blizzard