I F--k Sl--ts
๐ต 2625 characters
โฑ๏ธ 3:21 duration
๐ ID: 9160377
๐ Lyrics
Thank you for all being here on a Friday
I know there's lots of places you can be on a Friday
So I appreciate you taking the time to be with me
It does truly mean a lot
I would like to, um, do a love poem right now
Since it's sort of early in the show
Um, I warn you, it is sappy and romantic, so um
I'll get it out of the way now
And then I'll go back to the, er, the dirty stuff
That everyone loves, or whatever
Um, okay, it's called 'I Fuck Sluts'
Sluts
Sluts (it's not a rollcall but thank you)
Sluts, I fuck sluts
Sluts get fucked when I fuck sluts
No if ands and or buts
I fuck sluts
I fuck sluts
Nice girls are nice
But no good for nut sucking
Don't need need a serene night to green light a butt fucking
But that will be easy with sleazy old slut fucking
Boo to the nice girls
Praise be to slut fucking
I have a list
A list?
Yes, a list of all the sluts I've missed
I've never fucked or sucked these sluts
And thus my nuts are fucking pissed
So when I fuck the lucky slut, my nut removes her from the list
Another dumb cum bucket struck
From my nut sucking suck it slut, slut fucking bucket list
So, yes you hear the influences, Chaucer
The pages are blank, I know it, why am I lying to you?
Sluts can be white, black, brown, pink or almond
They can be skinny with big tits
Or be skinny with small ones
Sluts can be perky preppy or posh
With their brains and their clothes all shrunk from the wash
City people are confused
But other sluts are pretty and funny and smart
These sluts can lift all your thoughts from your dick to your heart
They can talk about science, music, or art
They can put you together
Or they could pull you apart
But don't trust these sluts
Don't, don't you dare
They'll force you
Trust them and love them and care
And then they'll be gone
And then youll be aware of that hole in your heart
That that dumb slut left there
Thank you very much
So, you see? He was lashing out with sexist language
'Cause he had his heart broken
We all learn something
Um, I know that that bit in particular is a little bit dense
A little bit hard to follow
And I wanna be able to do something that's easier to follow
And you could probably get on the first listen
So I wanna do a slower joke for you, erm
Here's a slow joke...
What did the ear of corn say
When all of it's clothes fell off
"Aw shucks!" Get it?
Like, shucks as in shucking corn
And also shucks the exclamation
Am I right?
Something for everybody, um
My father recently told me that I act too gay on stage
I said, "Really Dad? Prove it"
For those listening, I threw confetti, flamboyantly
So we're having fun
Thank you for all being here
I know there's lots of places you can be on a Friday
So I appreciate you taking the time to be with me
It does truly mean a lot
I would like to, um, do a love poem right now
Since it's sort of early in the show
Um, I warn you, it is sappy and romantic, so um
I'll get it out of the way now
And then I'll go back to the, er, the dirty stuff
That everyone loves, or whatever
Um, okay, it's called 'I Fuck Sluts'
Sluts
Sluts (it's not a rollcall but thank you)
Sluts, I fuck sluts
Sluts get fucked when I fuck sluts
No if ands and or buts
I fuck sluts
I fuck sluts
Nice girls are nice
But no good for nut sucking
Don't need need a serene night to green light a butt fucking
But that will be easy with sleazy old slut fucking
Boo to the nice girls
Praise be to slut fucking
I have a list
A list?
Yes, a list of all the sluts I've missed
I've never fucked or sucked these sluts
And thus my nuts are fucking pissed
So when I fuck the lucky slut, my nut removes her from the list
Another dumb cum bucket struck
From my nut sucking suck it slut, slut fucking bucket list
So, yes you hear the influences, Chaucer
The pages are blank, I know it, why am I lying to you?
Sluts can be white, black, brown, pink or almond
They can be skinny with big tits
Or be skinny with small ones
Sluts can be perky preppy or posh
With their brains and their clothes all shrunk from the wash
City people are confused
But other sluts are pretty and funny and smart
These sluts can lift all your thoughts from your dick to your heart
They can talk about science, music, or art
They can put you together
Or they could pull you apart
But don't trust these sluts
Don't, don't you dare
They'll force you
Trust them and love them and care
And then they'll be gone
And then youll be aware of that hole in your heart
That that dumb slut left there
Thank you very much
So, you see? He was lashing out with sexist language
'Cause he had his heart broken
We all learn something
Um, I know that that bit in particular is a little bit dense
A little bit hard to follow
And I wanna be able to do something that's easier to follow
And you could probably get on the first listen
So I wanna do a slower joke for you, erm
Here's a slow joke...
What did the ear of corn say
When all of it's clothes fell off
"Aw shucks!" Get it?
Like, shucks as in shucking corn
And also shucks the exclamation
Am I right?
Something for everybody, um
My father recently told me that I act too gay on stage
I said, "Really Dad? Prove it"
For those listening, I threw confetti, flamboyantly
So we're having fun
Thank you for all being here
โฑ๏ธ Synced Lyrics
[00:00.52] Thank you for all being here on a Friday
[00:01.76] I know there's lots of places you can be on a Friday
[00:03.51] So I appreciate you taking the time to be with me
[00:05.59] It does truly mean a lot
[00:07.06] I would like to, um, do a love poem right now
[00:09.58] Since it's sort of early in the show
[00:11.85] Um, I warn you, it is sappy and romantic, so um
[00:15.79] I'll get it out of the way now
[00:17.02] And then I'll go back to the, er, the dirty stuff
[00:19.05] That everyone loves, or whatever
[00:20.86] Um, okay, it's called 'I Fuck Sluts'
[00:27.71] Sluts
[00:29.25] Sluts (it's not a rollcall but thank you)
[00:31.75] Sluts, I fuck sluts
[00:35.23] Sluts get fucked when I fuck sluts
[00:36.78] No if ands and or buts
[00:38.24] I fuck sluts
[00:39.09] I fuck sluts
[00:39.93] Nice girls are nice
[00:40.94] But no good for nut sucking
[00:42.08] Don't need need a serene night to green light a butt fucking
[00:44.25] But that will be easy with sleazy old slut fucking
[00:46.33] Boo to the nice girls
[00:47.73] Praise be to slut fucking
[00:49.08] I have a list
[00:50.35] A list?
[00:51.05] Yes, a list of all the sluts I've missed
[00:52.77] I've never fucked or sucked these sluts
[00:54.62] And thus my nuts are fucking pissed
[00:56.11] So when I fuck the lucky slut, my nut removes her from the list
[00:59.31] Another dumb cum bucket struck
[01:01.55] From my nut sucking suck it slut, slut fucking bucket list
[01:05.17] So, yes you hear the influences, Chaucer
[01:09.43] The pages are blank, I know it, why am I lying to you?
[01:15.22] Sluts can be white, black, brown, pink or almond
[01:17.53] They can be skinny with big tits
[01:18.51] Or be skinny with small ones
[01:20.48] Sluts can be perky preppy or posh
[01:22.02] With their brains and their clothes all shrunk from the wash
[01:28.83] City people are confused
[01:32.73] But other sluts are pretty and funny and smart
[01:35.88] These sluts can lift all your thoughts from your dick to your heart
[01:38.65] They can talk about science, music, or art
[01:40.69] They can put you together
[01:42.04] Or they could pull you apart
[01:43.09] But don't trust these sluts
[01:44.07] Don't, don't you dare
[01:45.68] They'll force you
[01:46.28] Trust them and love them and care
[01:47.70] And then they'll be gone
[01:48.53] And then youll be aware of that hole in your heart
[01:50.77] That that dumb slut left there
[01:52.57] Thank you very much
[01:53.66] So, you see? He was lashing out with sexist language
[01:56.81] 'Cause he had his heart broken
[01:58.65] We all learn something
[02:00.83] Um, I know that that bit in particular is a little bit dense
[02:03.67] A little bit hard to follow
[02:04.52] And I wanna be able to do something that's easier to follow
[02:06.85] And you could probably get on the first listen
[02:08.39] So I wanna do a slower joke for you, erm
[02:10.13] Here's a slow joke...
[02:18.10] What did the ear of corn say
[02:22.06] When all of it's clothes fell off
[02:27.27] "Aw shucks!" Get it?
[02:35.01] Like, shucks as in shucking corn
[02:40.18] And also shucks the exclamation
[02:45.98] Am I right?
[02:51.49] Something for everybody, um
[02:56.11] My father recently told me that I act too gay on stage
[02:58.31] I said, "Really Dad? Prove it"
[03:06.92] For those listening, I threw confetti, flamboyantly
[03:15.70] So we're having fun
[03:18.67] Thank you for all being here
[03:19.63]
[00:01.76] I know there's lots of places you can be on a Friday
[00:03.51] So I appreciate you taking the time to be with me
[00:05.59] It does truly mean a lot
[00:07.06] I would like to, um, do a love poem right now
[00:09.58] Since it's sort of early in the show
[00:11.85] Um, I warn you, it is sappy and romantic, so um
[00:15.79] I'll get it out of the way now
[00:17.02] And then I'll go back to the, er, the dirty stuff
[00:19.05] That everyone loves, or whatever
[00:20.86] Um, okay, it's called 'I Fuck Sluts'
[00:27.71] Sluts
[00:29.25] Sluts (it's not a rollcall but thank you)
[00:31.75] Sluts, I fuck sluts
[00:35.23] Sluts get fucked when I fuck sluts
[00:36.78] No if ands and or buts
[00:38.24] I fuck sluts
[00:39.09] I fuck sluts
[00:39.93] Nice girls are nice
[00:40.94] But no good for nut sucking
[00:42.08] Don't need need a serene night to green light a butt fucking
[00:44.25] But that will be easy with sleazy old slut fucking
[00:46.33] Boo to the nice girls
[00:47.73] Praise be to slut fucking
[00:49.08] I have a list
[00:50.35] A list?
[00:51.05] Yes, a list of all the sluts I've missed
[00:52.77] I've never fucked or sucked these sluts
[00:54.62] And thus my nuts are fucking pissed
[00:56.11] So when I fuck the lucky slut, my nut removes her from the list
[00:59.31] Another dumb cum bucket struck
[01:01.55] From my nut sucking suck it slut, slut fucking bucket list
[01:05.17] So, yes you hear the influences, Chaucer
[01:09.43] The pages are blank, I know it, why am I lying to you?
[01:15.22] Sluts can be white, black, brown, pink or almond
[01:17.53] They can be skinny with big tits
[01:18.51] Or be skinny with small ones
[01:20.48] Sluts can be perky preppy or posh
[01:22.02] With their brains and their clothes all shrunk from the wash
[01:28.83] City people are confused
[01:32.73] But other sluts are pretty and funny and smart
[01:35.88] These sluts can lift all your thoughts from your dick to your heart
[01:38.65] They can talk about science, music, or art
[01:40.69] They can put you together
[01:42.04] Or they could pull you apart
[01:43.09] But don't trust these sluts
[01:44.07] Don't, don't you dare
[01:45.68] They'll force you
[01:46.28] Trust them and love them and care
[01:47.70] And then they'll be gone
[01:48.53] And then youll be aware of that hole in your heart
[01:50.77] That that dumb slut left there
[01:52.57] Thank you very much
[01:53.66] So, you see? He was lashing out with sexist language
[01:56.81] 'Cause he had his heart broken
[01:58.65] We all learn something
[02:00.83] Um, I know that that bit in particular is a little bit dense
[02:03.67] A little bit hard to follow
[02:04.52] And I wanna be able to do something that's easier to follow
[02:06.85] And you could probably get on the first listen
[02:08.39] So I wanna do a slower joke for you, erm
[02:10.13] Here's a slow joke...
[02:18.10] What did the ear of corn say
[02:22.06] When all of it's clothes fell off
[02:27.27] "Aw shucks!" Get it?
[02:35.01] Like, shucks as in shucking corn
[02:40.18] And also shucks the exclamation
[02:45.98] Am I right?
[02:51.49] Something for everybody, um
[02:56.11] My father recently told me that I act too gay on stage
[02:58.31] I said, "Really Dad? Prove it"
[03:06.92] For those listening, I threw confetti, flamboyantly
[03:15.70] So we're having fun
[03:18.67] Thank you for all being here
[03:19.63]