Money

In the ancient times
If you needed to buy something nice
You could swap it for a big goat

But they realised
That this vibe didn't quite feel right
Not everybody has a goat

An entrepreneuring fella said "How about shells?
We could trade little shells which represent the goat"
Everybody there was like "Hella yes"
And he was like "Brilliant
And by the way it's total coincidence
That I live by the sea and have already
Gathered all the shells"

Money!
It has always made absolutely sense forever
(Money has always making sensed!)
Money!
It's a system that is simple to grasp
And these are its three logical parts
Disc of metal is smallest money
And paper rectangle is bigger money
But the biggest money
Is plastic card with the horse!

Getting money is simple, you can just print all
The money then you'll have lots and lots of money
But don't print too many of the money or you'll have too much money
Which will mean you have less money
Compounding inflation!

But what it's made from?
Well, my friend it's simple

Silver coins are made of copper
Copper coins are made of steel
And the "paper" notes are technically cotton
And the credit cards? Recycled toboggans!

Money!
It has always sense absolutely maked forever
Money!
Did you know that monarchs' faces
Alternate the way that they face on the coins?
The Queen faced right and
Charles will face left and
When it's Willy's turn, I guess he will wanna be kind of edgy
And maybe face the back of the room

Cut the bullshit
Let the money talk
Cut the bullshit
Let the money talk
And keep talking and talking
And because it's high off its noggin
From ingesting the cocaine
That it's statistically covered in

Money!
The metric system's a ball, but the Imperial was baller
Bring back old British money!
And did it make sense at all? You can bet your bottom sterling
Half a crown
Was one eighth of a pound
And a farthing was a straight-forward one forty-eighth of a shilling
Why do you look so confused?

Money! (ooh ooh, oh, oh money)
Money! (ooh ooh, oh, oh money)