Penis Song

[00:00.02] Ladies and gentlemen
[00:01.42] Introducing, the penis song
[00:07.33] (Oh no he didn't)
[00:09.19] (Honk a dick)
[00:09.49] This is my penis song
[00:12.78] I wish that I had a bigger shlong
[00:17.55] One that was quite a bit more thick and way more long
[00:22.70] One of those porno king kong dongs
[00:27.54] Check it out, yo, uh
[00:29.04] I wish my dick was bigger, yup I can admit it
[00:31.66] I'm above average on inches but I want a damn double digit
[00:34.49] If I had a big ol' cock, what would I do?
[00:36.48] I'd probably go to Florida and show it Katrina and screw
[00:39.01] Get buck naked and start streaking at my school
[00:41.20] And get arrested but at least the girls would be impressed
[00:43.56] With my third leg and, and then I'd go to a keg and
[00:46.15] Do a keg stand, get drunk and do the running man
[00:48.79] With no clothes on just to show off
[00:51.09] My dick's bigger than yours when mine is cold and soft
[00:53.54] Haha, oh yeah I forgot that's not really the cock that I have
[00:58.21] I went out and party-bagged 'em and quickly opened the package
[01:00.57] And it fit me like Kriss Kross's old school starter jackets
[01:02.89] Trying to convince myself like, "Size doesn't matter"
[01:05.58] Anyways I'd probably just put it on backwards 'cause I mean
[01:08.19] I know that God made us all different and special
[01:10.05] But shit did he really have to invent lopsided testicles?
[01:13.31] I don't have them I just feel bad for the like you know the guys with like
[01:17.61] Their left one hangs like lower than the right, kinda like a lazy eye like on your
[01:22.40] Balls
[01:23.52] I mean I don't know, I just feel bad
[01:25.93] This is my penis song
[01:29.70] I wish that I had a bigger shlong
[01:34.23] One that was quite a bit more thick and way more long
[01:39.46] Fellas if y'all feel me, sing along
[01:44.50] Yo ladies (Yeah?)
[01:47.22] Ladies! (Yeah?)
[01:48.33] Do you want a guy with an average dick?
[01:49.86] Hell no!
[01:50.62] Then, wait you don't?
[01:52.36] No, you honkey dick
[01:52.81] Okay that's cool, no that's fine
[01:55.39] I promise, I'm so self conscious
[01:57.75] That's why you never see me skinny dippin' in August
[02:00.19] Always walkin' around with my hands in my pockets
[02:02.69] Trying to pump blood into my guy Alfonso
[02:04.95] I mean, goddamn I don't think you girls understand
[02:07.25] I've had a complex since that song Short Short Man
[02:09.75] And even though girls have told me that I'm big
[02:12.25] When I watch a porno I feel like a little kid
[02:14.35] I mean, let's take Ron Jeremy
[02:16.69] Now if a girl sees him she'll compare him to me
[02:19.14] And every MC in hip-hop has got a huge cock
[02:21.72] Or at least talks about it in every song that they've got
[02:24.28] I mean, shit
[02:25.43] If I was really hung I'd make a whole album called Me and My Dick
[02:28.82] With interludes of all the girls that I'd been with
[02:31.14] And talk about my package and multiple orgasms
[02:33.76] 'Cause all that I see is that size does matter
[02:36.07] We got Enzite, penis pumps surgery to Viagra
[02:38.50] But when it all adds up you can't really change it
[02:40.99] I'm not a porno star, I just gotta face it
[02:43.33] You know, what can I do
[02:45.53] This song goes out to like all the like little bit above average dudes
[02:48.78] So like all the small dudes, medium dudes but all you big guys stop
[02:51.88] This is my penis song
[02:55.40] I wish that I had a bigger shlong
[03:00.31] One that was quite a bit more thick and way more long
[03:05.07] Fellas if y'all feel me sing along
[03:07.23]