I Don't Feel Much Wiser

I know I used to be
Well, things have changed
There is less of me
Slightly more deranged
Why wouldn't you feel estranged
I was always looking
Tumbling around looking
Same time a lateral growth of realizing
Everything I knew was a baffling idea
All I know is a puzzling idealizing
I don't feel much wiser

But I'm not here right now
It's been oh so long
I might be in my way
I might be on my way out of my own sway

I quit the talk
Now I'll never have a writer's block
Now they're not calling for me
It feels kind of lonely to be
grumbling on papers
for no one and everyone to see
Have I lost, am I lost, or have I lost it
My eyes are covered in grit
I need another pair of ears
I listened for, how many years
Are these mine, or are these your fears
But what are these fears

But I'm not here right now
It's been oh so long
I might be in my way
I might be on my way out of my own sway