The Day You Said Goodbye

The day you said goodbye
Was the worst day of my life
I gave my heart fully to you
And you stabbed it with a knife
I think of all the things I didn't do
Even now I know I was able
But the biggest thing that I regret
Is we never tried for anal
No, we never tried for anal!

We tried cunnilingus and fellatio
I dry humped you to a big fat O
We tried a trapeze and a rocking chair
I even put on a pair of your favourite underwear
We tried Coitus Missionaris and even Coitus Canis
But you never let me put it in your anus,
No! You never let me put it in your anus

I told you your eyes were big and bright
How they shone like the sun's brightest rays
I told you your skin was like porcelain
And as fair as the summer's day
I told you how I loved your smile
How it shines so bright and so clear
But you didn't look impressed when I confessed
When I said I'd like to stick it in your rear
When I said I'd like to stick it in your rear

- Oh Chad, I love you so much. I'd do anything for you.
- Anything?
- Anything.
- Well, how about, um...
- Get out!

So now I am alone again
And this isn't the first time by far
But my heart will always have a place for you
No matter where you are
And I know that you'll meet another man
And I'll try to keep my jealousy in check
But I feel satisfaction upon your attraction
When he tries to board the ship on your buttock
When he tries to board the ship on your buttock