When I Was A Kid

I left the old me hanging by the neck
Light a candle, rest in peace
They spoke like they know best
When disguised by the hate it blends so easily
I don't wanna break when they gone bend
Every time I'm bouta give I land both feet
The pressure just don't end
When I need your help please rescue me

Not that long ago
I was just a kid
Putting every single song I wrote in writing from a pen
Passionate but people loved to clown me
Often hate was all around me
But somehow I held it down to get to where I am
I'm fuckin starin at this man in the mirror but lookin back
Is just a shell of my former self
I wonder where I'm at in places I hadn't imagined
Swear I miss that iridescent place
I no longer can get to that I built inside my head
But, as a kid, knew I had me somethin' different
Watched and listen as my idols dropping dead from drug addiction
But within me is the same exact passion they once were gifted
Never knew how this shit would play out
I wanted fame and all the money in the world that I could harbor
Everyone to show me love everywhere that I walked
And disregarding all the things that could ever go wrong
I'm sitting there on the alter
Watching as we drift farther apart

When life's hard think I see the bright lights from miles
And you tell me that its over with
The right call translated through the devil's smile
That's when you tell me that it's over with
It's my fault life bring me love in horrible ways
Nobody get it so I'm over with
In my heart find it feasible to fold and break
You never listen guess I'm over with it

When I was a kid
I just wanted to blow up like fuck it
Nowadays I just want someone who could understand
I was bullied and beat on for nothing
Same people show me love now and I don't understand
I was filed an outcast from the crowd
And now they catch me around
And act like we were always friends
Save the smiles and "how you been"s when I'm out
You'll never catch me around
But if I was still a kid
I'd love to see this moment finally come for real
Tons of people deemed me nothin' but a loserboy
Who keep on askin' if I want to chef a blunt
Or maybe want a feature
Whats the deal with all the universal struggles?
What is real?

Fake deep with me
In an effort just to say they got to speak to me
Tell some people that we friends
It ain't easily, something you could fucking get
You playin teams I see, I swear its like it never ends so
Back then the girls would only fuck with you
If you were popular in school
If not then who the fuck are you and
Same bitches see me poppin' up in tunes
Recommended on Spotify now they in love with you
It's, comical, these days inside my room
Cliché's that seem fake really ain't, it's all the truth
This life is malleable, taking flights to altitudes
They don't want to see you reach, when you land they out for you

I been keepin somethin on me when I notice they be closer
Cuz the pain never stop and the drugs don't go
I see the fake in the smiles and the girls that hit my phone
I been afraid of the cops so I keep my head low from it
I'm in love with losing everyone I knew
I been awake, been a problem from the drugs I could do
I find the space and the stars when I lay in the yard
Crying praying to god that one day I'll fucking move from it

When life's hard think I see the bright lights from miles
And you tell me that its over with
The right call translated through the devil's smile
That's when you tell me that it's over with
It's my fault life bring me love in horrible ways
Nobody get it so I'm over with
In my heart find it feasible to fold and break
You never listen guess I'm over with it