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The Straight Razor Cabaret

πŸ‘€ Aurelio Voltaire β€’ 🎼 Riding a Black Unicorn Down the Side of an Erupting Volcano While Drinking from a Chalice Filled with the Laughter of Small Children β€’ ⏱️ 3:27
🎡 1881 characters
⏱️ 3:27 duration
πŸ†” ID: 9516726

πŸ“œ Lyrics

In a cafΓ© on the Champs-Γ‰lysΓ©es
I saw a girl the other day
I was beguiled 'til I saw her smile
It was a gash across her face

Not long ago, she found that she was alone
So she wandered into The Vaudeville Show
She should've known it'd be bad, she saw the name that it had
The Straight Razor Cabaret

The first act was a stripper
And the host looked like Jack the Ripper
But the audience was dreary
So he slashed them smiles from ear to ear

He used a straight razor 'cause he's a face-raper
And there's nothing he hates more than a stick in the mud
If he tells a joke, you'd better laugh until you choke
At the Straight Razor Cabaret

When I went down to Camden Town
I saw a man reading the Bible
I won't in haste describe his face
For I might be sued for libel

Not long ago, he found that he was alone
So he wandered into The Vaudeville Show
He should've known he'd be maimed when he discovered the name
The Straight Razor Cabaret

While a strumpet stroked a donkey
The host juggled five dead monkeys
But the audience was snobs
So he took a knife right to their gobs

He used a straight razor 'cause he's a face-raper
And there's nothing he hates more than a stick in the mud
If he does a trick, you'd better laugh until you're sick
At the Straight Razor Cabaret

La-la, la-la-la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
La-la, la-la-la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

They call him straight razor 'cause he's a face-raper
And there's nothing he hates more than a stick in the mud
If he pulls a gaffe, you'd better bloody up and laugh
At the Straight Razor Cabaret
At the Straight Razor Cabaret
At the Straight Razor Caba-

La-la, la-la-la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
La-la, la-la-la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
Everybody
La-la, la-la-la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
La-la, la-la-la-la-la, la-la-la
At the Straight Razor Cabaret

⏱️ Synced Lyrics

[00:00.38] In a cafΓ© on the Champs-Γ‰lysΓ©es
[00:05.36] I saw a girl the other day
[00:10.59] I was beguiled 'til I saw her smile
[00:16.75] It was a gash across her face
[00:21.72]
[00:26.50] Not long ago, she found that she was alone
[00:28.97] So she wandered into The Vaudeville Show
[00:32.08] She should've known it'd be bad, she saw the name that it had
[00:35.09] The Straight Razor Cabaret
[00:38.10] The first act was a stripper
[00:40.64] And the host looked like Jack the Ripper
[00:43.77] But the audience was dreary
[00:46.66] So he slashed them smiles from ear to ear
[00:49.76] He used a straight razor 'cause he's a face-raper
[00:52.62] And there's nothing he hates more than a stick in the mud
[00:55.54] If he tells a joke, you'd better laugh until you choke
[00:58.62] At the Straight Razor Cabaret
[01:01.49]
[01:07.37] When I went down to Camden Town
[01:10.41] I saw a man reading the Bible
[01:12.96] I won't in haste describe his face
[01:16.38] For I might be sued for libel
[01:21.13] Not long ago, he found that he was alone
[01:23.80] So he wandered into The Vaudeville Show
[01:26.75] He should've known he'd be maimed when he discovered the name
[01:29.87] The Straight Razor Cabaret
[01:32.72] While a strumpet stroked a donkey
[01:35.29] The host juggled five dead monkeys
[01:38.57] But the audience was snobs
[01:41.40] So he took a knife right to their gobs
[01:44.41] He used a straight razor 'cause he's a face-raper
[01:47.21] And there's nothing he hates more than a stick in the mud
[01:50.52] If he does a trick, you'd better laugh until you're sick
[01:53.50] At the Straight Razor Cabaret
[01:56.86] La-la, la-la-la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
[02:02.72] La-la, la-la-la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
[02:08.43]
[02:31.64] They call him straight razor 'cause he's a face-raper
[02:34.76] And there's nothing he hates more than a stick in the mud
[02:37.81] If he pulls a gaffe, you'd better bloody up and laugh
[02:40.91] At the Straight Razor Cabaret
[02:43.75] At the Straight Razor Cabaret
[02:46.60] At the Straight Razor Caba-
[02:52.84] La-la, la-la-la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
[02:58.73] La-la, la-la-la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
[03:03.88] Everybody
[03:04.91] La-la, la-la-la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
[03:10.83] La-la, la-la-la-la-la, la-la-la
[03:13.52] At the Straight Razor Cabaret
[03:16.94]

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