Plastered in Unicorn Feces

On a quest in a magical realm
(magical lakes and magical mountains)
Inventory of items and potions
(found on the journey through magical kingdoms)

Fighting blue slimes with a wooden sword
(collect the gold, and collect the items)
Now you're approached by a unicorn
(mythical horse of majestic beauty)

Use, using up your items using up your potions
cannot ride the unicorn
Food, using up your food stash, gonna use the food to
try to feed the unicorn
Now, unicorn is eating but they aren't supposed to
be eating the human food
You, plastered in the feces, magical and sparkly
spraying from the unicorn

The unicorn ate a bowlful of mush
(hit points are down from bacterial infection)
All of your food with no refrigeration
(rapid increase of harmful pathogens)

You should have left the unicorn alone
(you fucking idiot, what were you thinking?)
Coated and filthy from all of the mush
(growing the mushrooms you're left in the rainstorm)

Use, using up your items using up your potions
cannot ride the unicorn
Food, using up your food stash, gonna use the food to
try to feed the unicorn
Now, unicorn is eating but they aren't supposed to
be eating the human food
You, plastered in the feces, magical and sparkly
spraying from the unicorn

Plastered in unicorn feces!