Intro

Ladies and Gentlemen, put you hands together for Dane Cook, come on!

*Cheers and claps*

Yeah! Keep it going for the comics you've seen tonight.

Keep it going for the comics you've seen, any night!

Keep it... forget comics,
Just keep it going for people that are kinda funny at parties.
You know what, fuck that!
Just keep it going for people who say things that aren't funny,
But you laugh just to make them feel like they're not an idiot.
You kinda just go *HAHAHA* and then when they leave your like,
What a fuckin' idiot! Keep it going for them!

Keep it going for you guys, yeah!

*Dane laughs*

What's happenin'? You guys feelin' good tonight, yea?"

*Cheers*